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  • John Browner

Why Talking on radio row is like being a porn actor


How often do you feel naked? Not like beach naked where you’re in your fancy underwear that you paid to layout in public in (bathing suit or swim trunks) or shower naked where you're

comfortable in your surroundings knowing no one will see you (unless your in prison or have kids) but like pre-sex for the first time with a person naked. You know that feeling right? That look your best even though you have nothing to hide behind look. Well, that’s what it’s like when you sit down at radio row during the super bowl. Much like sex with a person, you have had a 10-year relationship with being naked around them is a relaxed and comfortable feeling some would even say it’s the feeling you’re chasing in life. I’m not that person for this particular situation. I’m the new guy and not only am I the new guy but I’m with one guy (Alex) who has been to radio row 8 times and Scott Kaplan who has been more times then he has fingers and toes! Me on the other hand, I’m the first-timer who is carrying 3 bags and has no idea you’re not supposed to take pictures of your credentials (true story).


Now much like a porn you are asked to do the most intimate acts in front of about 8 to 10 people filming you teabag some poor girl from Iowa who thought she was going to be the next Julia Roberts because she thought pretty woman was a cute film. Sitting on radio row which is a horrible description for what it actually is, you are asked to do the most intimate thing you do in our business. Normally you do the show in front of maybe a max of 5 people in a studio. Here in Miami or any other super bowl you are at you are asked to do what you do in a room full of other dudes yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs about some of the most cornball shit you can imagine. Much like being in a porn having your stroke interrupted can be a disaster much like having your train of thought broken when you’re trying to make a point. You just gotta focus and take that point to pound town until you get the money shot!


Now that my first time on radio row has come to an end I gotta say it’s a pretty cool experience. It’s not what you would think it is but it’s a show of how important the NFL is to our sports culture. Every guy or girl that sits down with you is selling something from credit card websites to reality shows. So if you ever find yourself on radio row behind a mic just remember to focus on your point and punch your ticket to pound town!

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